If Dogs Had Their Own 9-1-1 For Emergencies.
This article is based on the AskReddit question “If dogs had a 911 hotline, what dog-’emergencies’ would they call it for?”
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1/22. “MY HUMAN DOESN’T POOP but he collects my poop in a bag! Help him please! I can’t poop enough for us both! I am worried”
2/22. Dog: hello – I’d like to report missing humans.
Doggy 911: how long have they been missing?
Dog: somewhere between 5 minutes and 2 years, I don’t really know, I have no sense of time.
Doggy 911: ok sir, what you’ll need to do is run around and panic and bark, then continually scratch at the door until you’ve created a hole for you to escape your inevitable death and find your humans.
Dog: got it thanks!
3/22. “Help! There’s someone in the house and they keep doing the exact same things I’m doing, but reversed! They also look just like me!”
4/22. “SOMEBODY PARKED MY NEIGHBOR’S CAR AT MY NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE!!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY’RE GOING INTO MY NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE!!!!!!”
5/22. 911: “What’s your emergency?”
Dog: “I’ve been abandoned. I can’t leave the building to get help.”
911: ” Okay, just relax. How long have you been left alone?”
Dog: “Since the dawn of time.”
911: “Do you have enough food and water to survive until the dog-police arrive?”
Dog: “My food dish is full and the drinking fountain is working perfectly.”
911: “So no food or water at all?”
Dog: “Literally nothing.”
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